tigers under glass

tigers under glass
Originally uploaded by fallsroad.

on the lam from siegfried and roy, i found them lounging in the front display window of the local Salvation Army store. big place full of everyone else's stuff, an amazing array of castoffs and oddities.

these were the best thing they had going, and the only thing behind the glass tagged "Display Only."

i so wanted them for the living room.

More fiction

Another, more pointed look at the fake news story.

Remember those fake video news reports the Bush administration has been distributing to local television stations? Back in February, the Government Accountability Office warned federal agencies to stop pushing the phony news reports on the grounds that continuing to do so would amount to the distribution of domestic propaganda in violation of federal law.

That might have been the end of the matter, but the Bush administration has other ideas. Last week, budget director Josh Bolten and a Justice Department lawyer named Steven Bradbury issued their own opinion about the fake news stories. Their conclusion: The GAO is wrong, and the fake news reports are perfectly legal. Moreover, as the Washington Post reports today, Bolten and Bradbury said that legal advice for the executive branch is supposed to come not from the Government Accountability Office but from the Justice's Office of Legal Counsel.

That would be the same Office of Legal Counsel that issued a legal memorandum in August 2002 defining torture out of existence and opining that the president's commander-in-chief power gives him authority to defy federal law in the name of national security -- and the same Office of Legal Counsel that retracted that memo in December 2004, just in time for Alberto Gonzales' confirmation hearings.

Full story.

Fiction triumphs over reality

If there was any doubt remaining that the Shrubites create their own reality, put it to rest. Today administation officials announced they are disregarding a ruling by the GAO that the fake video news packages constructed by PR firms on behalf of Shrub and foisted on local news broadcasts as "news" are at best unethical.

Instead, the Shrubiies intend to continue with the practice, in which these pro-administration policy ads are aired without any disclosure about their origin or purpose.

Then at the mid-day briefing, Press Secretary Scott McClellan officially confirmed that the White House is blowing off the Government Accountability Office's finding that prepackaged administration video news releases constitute illegal covert propaganda.

See Dan Froomkin's story here.

keys to your kingdom

keys to your kingdom
Originally uploaded by fallsroad.

car keys.

the ultimate expression of personal freedom in America, the symbol of mobility, ability; an extension of the individual. with a car many things are possible - travel, shopping, hauling, visiting or just plain driving for the pleasure of it. we take cars for granted - if you don't have one you are somehow deficient - and we've largely forgotten how powerful they are.

my wife has a car, a modest vehicle that gets her where she needs to go - work, school, errands, visits with friends and family. it's utility is undeniable. there is a faux-sportiness about it, and the color - blackberry - is quite pleasing to the eye. i know that car backwards and forwards with only one minor detail - i haven't a clue what it is like to drive it.

i have what is termed these days a "seizure disorder", known more widely as "epilepsy", once known as "having fits". my brain does not function correctly, prone to electro-chemical misfiring that renders it chaotic, unusable, dysfunctional. during these neurological meltdowns i may fall to the ground and shake violently, sit in a chair and stare off into space, drooling, or wander panicked around the house sniffing the air for a scent that exists only in my inside-out mind.

the aftermath of these seizures covers a range. at the minimum i am exhausted and confused when i come to or am forced to wake up. my muscles will be sore, my head in the thrall of a serious pounder, speech heavily slurred, thought largely impossible. if i'm really lucky i'll still have the smell of burning wire or insulation in my nose, and the taste of hot metal in my mouth, both by-products of the seizures involving that nonexistent smell. a long period of sleep is required for me to function at even the most rudimentary level.

the permanent effects become more pronounced as the seizures continue. my short term memory is a mess, i'm very forgetful, and while speaking or writing i'll lose words, and i mean lose them so completely i'll have to find another way to speak/write my thought. i'm prone to sudden exhaustion, sleep poorly, and my temper has become short, too short, which is hard on rachel. coupled with my instant forgetfulness, i've started quite a few needless arguments based on the fruits of a faulty memory.

my first seizure occurred when i was 20 years old - not exactly rare, but not that common. as far as i know it was not the direct result of a brain injury, though my left frontal lobe does show two very small areas of scarring. it is not known whether or not this has any relation to the seizures, though the only one caught during eeg monitoring originated from that same lobe. i have been medicated on and off for the last twenty years with no real success. presently, i am at the end of the medication road, taking my current prescription as much to satisfy my neurologist (an excellent doctor - high praise from someone like me) as to control seizures. my longest period without seizures was eighteen months, during which time i was not taking any meds at all. the pace, variety, and severity of the seizures has increased over the years.

the treatments left to me are all invasive, requiring surgical testing to determine my fitness for the procedures themselves. "it's only brain surgery" my doctor cracks in his deadpan way. for the time being i'm unprepared to risk the possible loss of function, which varies wildly depending upon which parts of the brain must be removed. perhaps walking won't be possible, or speech, there may be memory loss, and so forth.

so for the indeterminate future i have to find a way to get along with a brain and body prepared to betray me without a seconds warning. i cannot leave the house by myself. fear of having seizures in public or finding myself appearing stupid because my memory has chosen an inopportune moment to abandon me keeps me at home. so does the sheer danger of walking around by myself and the potentially fatal possibilities of having a seizure while crossing the road or using the stairs, or any of a dozen other scenarios. rachel works and goes to school, so i'm pretty much on my own, essentially house bound.

the immobility may be somewhat alleviated in months to come. i am applying to an organization called Paws With A Cause, a non profit that raises and trains working dogs to aid the disabled and chronically ill. for epileptics there are seizure response dogs which can be trained to respond in a variety of ways depending upon the nature of the seizures the person experiences. this can include staying with me, trying to awaken me, bringing the phone so i can call for help, and monitoring me as i move about the house, or go outside. in the outside world the dog can help me get around, blocking me before i walk into objects, go down stairs, cross the street. once given a command (something i would not be able to do during a seizure) the dog would allow me to proceed. it would also be able to alert strangers to my status, and carry a cell phone pre-programmed with my wife's phone number as well as my meds.

the application process has only begun, and i don't know if i will be approved nor how long it will all take, but this could be my set of keys to the kingdom.

of course, even with the dog at my side, i still won't be able to drive. :)

Bread & Cake

In short, they are stealing bread from the mouths of the poor and stuffing cake into the maws of the wealthy.

Joe Conason has them dead to rights.

False complexities

Talking Points Memo has a succinct way of describing the Social Security debate:

But the terms of this debate are actually pretty straightforward. The president and his supporters want to get the government out of the Social Security business by ending guaranteed benefits. It's really as simple as that. Not complicated. They'll put in its place some system of private accounts where you can save money on your own. And if it works out, great. If it doesn't, it's your problem.

Social Security is about spreading out the risk and the security by having near-universal participation in one program. That's what it is. You pay in through the course of your working years and after you retire you receive your guaranteed benefit every month for the rest of your life. It is that issue of guarantee -- which, in its nature, only a program like Social Security can provide -- which the president and his supporters are trying to do away with, either all at once or in stages.

Full post.