Yellow!

Phew!

I am sooooooooo relieved!

The scare-the-shit-out-of-the-public alert system has been altered to yellow.

I am not sure why exactly I should feel comfitted by this - yellow seems neither inherently safer nor more dangerous than orange, which is higher on the "be fucking scared" scale, nor can I ascertain the reasoning behind the lowering of the "threat level." Sure, the war is "over," woohoo and all of that, but last I saw on the news we were gearing up to bomb Syria, or Sri Lanka, I'm not too clear on the location, and from what the SpewsMedia has been telling me for six months or so, that could maybe result in a backlash in the form of more terrorist attacks, so maybe we ought to go to bright red. Bright red is alarming, in my view. We could even randomly fire off the storm sirens here in Norman for good effect. Keep us on our toes. That's what we overly complacent Americans must need, I guess, or God would not have made Shrub president in time to pacify and Christianize Iraq and all of the middle east except Israel, and what's a poor boy to do, I'd move to Canada but I hear rumors of annexation and Mexico is just one big labor camp and Germany and France are gutless Commie cowards and....

...I need some coffee.