Pandagon has a post about assumptions made about women every day in restaurants and retail settings when in the company of a man.
Some years ago a friend wanted to buy a new television. I was, at the time, still in the audio/video business and recommended an establishment I once worked for, as my current employer did not sell TVs.
I am male. My friend is female, employed, makes boatloads of money, and is the primary earner in her household (husband takes care of the kids and home).
We three journeyed to the electronics store (a higher end place, where the salespeople actually know what they are selling) where I introduced my friend to the store manager, told him generally what she was looking for, and off we went. Understand that this manager was a younger man, 26 at the time (and a rank asshole to his staff but sophisticated enough to treat his customers with respect, or so I thought), so we are not dealing with some dinosaur likely to pop off about the "little lady" and whatnot. Yet, invariably, he spoke directly to the husband, or even me, though both of us made a point of standing a little further back from him than was she. It was weird. I deflected everything back to her, as did her husband, but he continued making eye contact with either of the men while ignoring her, even though she was the only one asking him questions or responding verbally to him.
When we reached the register, J. took out her wallet and began dating a check. The manager looked right past her to her husband and asked for their phone number. He looked away, and the manager's gaze finally came to rest on his wife. She gave him the number, lips pursed, expression galactically irritated. When the transaction ended, he handed the receipt to her husband, who was several feet away from the counter. The guy had to extend his arm right over her shoulder to do it.
On the ride home she was understandably livid. I was pretty embarrassed, as I had recommended this guy and that shop, and said so. While I received absolution for my unintentional sin, she never returned to that particular establishment. For my part I wrote a letter to the sales manager of the company (someone I knew personally) advising him of the incredibly sexist behavior of the current manager. Nothing happened, as far as I know.
In years since I've seen this sort of thing over and over again. I've even seen female sales staff defer to the male partner when a married couple is buying something, even if there are no overt signs that one or the other person is "taking the lead" in the purchase, so to speak. It's incredibly insulting to women, and all too common.
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